


Falling apart

by Kunoichirin



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 06:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18068399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunoichirin/pseuds/Kunoichirin
Summary: It's the night after Asuma's death. Shikamaru can't control himself, nor his feelings. He can't do anything. Hidan haunts his mind, and his scythe, blood, and Asuma's cold, dead body is all he can think about.





	Falling apart

**Author's Note:**

> I first wrote this a while back, and I think it's good

Asuma's dead. 

How? How can his mentor be dead? Why did it have to be him? Why not someone else? Why not Shikamaru himself? Why couldn't his own pain have ended? There was nothing going for him, but Asuma had a family. Shikamaru would never have that. Why did everything bad always happen to him? What had he done to deserve this fate? What had he done to upset the gods? Why was his luck so awful!?

Shikamaru knew it was coming. He had to hide. He had to duck into some ally. Something, somewhere, he had to go. 

The forest. That's where he ran to. That's where he burst into tears. Burning tears slid down his cheeks, his breath hitching, quickening. He didn't want to cry, he shouldn't cry. If Asuma were there, he'd click his tongue is disapproval, but he would be there. He was always there. 

Shikamaru sank to his knees, tears streaming down his face. He needed to do something. The last time he had cried was years prior, when he almost got his squad killed. Neji almost died, Chouji almost died, Kiba almost died, Naruto could have died, and that was his own fault. And now Asuma was dead. Where would it end?!

A hand on his shoulder startled Shikamaru into twisting around and back handspring away, then backflip over the river and land, wiping his tears away, and taking out his kunai.

"Woah, woah, woah!" A certain brown haired boy with red markings on his cheeks exclaimed. "Calm down!"

"Oh, it's you." Shikamaru lowered his kunai, and wiped his eyes again. "What do you want?"

"Well... everyone was looking for you, so I was just following your scent." Kiba shrugged, then looked Shikamaru in the eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Of course." Shikamaru lied, steadying his voice.

Next to Kiba, Akamaru whimpered softly. "He's right, something is not okay." Kiba agreed. 

"Nothing is wrong." Shikamaru lied again. 

Kiba made a small disapproving sound. "Your mentor just died, how can you say nothing's wrong, you heartless!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I-" Shikamaru paused, and counted to ten in his head. "I didn't think you knew that. I was lying, and you DON'T need to make me feel WORSE."

"Yeah... that wasn't the best course of action..." Kiba agreed. Akamaru growled.

"Just... go away." Shikamaru choked, trying to fight back his oncoming tears. 

"Are you-!" Kiba looked at him in shock. "Oh no, not again."

"Why are you still here!?" Shikamaru demanded. 

"I'm known for always saying three wrong thing." Kiba sighed. "And I did it again. Ugh, I wish I were more helpful!"

Shikamaru's vision blurred. He tried not to blink, but he couldn't help it. The hot tears had already begun trickling down his cheeks. 

"W- woah!" Kiba exclaimed, rushing to his friend's side. "I'm sorry, what did I say!? What can I do to help!?"

Shikamaru felt a small twinge of affection for the Inuzuka boy. He quickly shook it off. 

Kiba awkwardly reached towards his friend to comfort him, but was met with a swat to his hand. 

"Don't. Touch. Me." Shikamaru growled. 

Kiba looked at his feet for a moment, then, without warning, wrapped his arms securely, yet gently around the young Nara.

"W- what are you doing!?" He cried. 

"I'm trying to comfort you, but I can't if you don't relax!" Kiba scolded. 

"Why am I the one getting scolded here!?" Shikamaru shouted, trying to pull free. "Grr, you're so troublesome!"

"There's the Shikamaru I know." Kiba cooed.

"Don't patronize me!" The black haired boy protested. Kiba had pulled the crying Nara tighter to him. 

"Shh..." Kiba stroked Shikamaru's back gently. "It's all going to be alright."

Shikamaru didn't respond, he just choked back another sob and buried his face in the Inuzuka boy's shoulder. Kiba inhaled his sweet scent as it washed over him. Though the scent was tainted with regret, anger, and sadness.

"Asuma wouldn't have wanted this. I'm sure he's happy that you loved him, but he's in another world now. One day, you'll see him again, but all he wanted was to keep you safe." Kiba whispered. "And he succeeded. You were- are very important to him, and I'm sure if he were here right now, he would tell you to let your feelings go, and let someone care for you." Kiba paused. "That someone being me."

When Shikamaru still didn't respond, Kiba rested his chin on top of the boy's head. "If you never let anyone help you, you'll never recover. That would be worse. Instead of pushing me away, let me help you." Kiba paused again. "I mean us. Us. Let US help you."

"I can't." Shikamaru breathed shakily. "I've never been able to protect the ones I care about, or those I'm responsible for. I could've saved him."

"There's nothing you could've done." Kiba pointed out, hoping he didn't sound harsh. "He died protecting you, so that you could live your life. He would want you to be happy. I don't know what the future will bring, I don't know the answers. But I do know that he didn't either. He made the choice himself. It was him who chose to die for you. Don't let his death be in vain. Pull yourself together." Kiba let go of Shikamaru, but kept his hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "I know you feel like you're falling; as though you're spiraling towards a black void, but even if you're falling, I'll- er, someone will always be there to catch you."

Kiba stared right into his- oops- Shikamaru's eyes. "And that someone will support you throughout everything you do. Every choice, every action, every step of the way to your goal, I- erm, that someone will be there through it all, even after the bitter end." Shikamaru lowered his gaze, small tears still falling. Kiba gently took the boy's chin and lifted it so he could stare into his beautiful hazel eyes. "Look at me." Shikamaru did. "There will always be someone in this world who cares about you. Always, no matter what. Never lose sight of that; of what's truly important." Kiba lowered his hand.

"K-Kiba..." Shikamaru wiped his eyes and let a small smile slide onto his face. "Thank you."

Kiba's whole face turned beet red. "Well, I-"

Before he could finish, Shikamaru had kissed him. Kiba almost exploded. His one dream, his top, one true dream, was coming true, right before his eyes. When they seperated, Shikamaru was blushing just as much as Kiba was.

"You were talking about yourself, weren't you." he said shyly. "That you'll always be there for me."

"Even after death." Kiba grinned. "Through everything."

Shikamaru let his smile grow, just a little, but it was enough to make Kiba's heart do cartwheels. "I love you, Kiba."

"And I love you." Kiba said, grinning so wide it hurt. "Now, are you just going to stand there, or kick some immortal butt?"

"I don't think-"

"Shut up and go." Kiba ordered. "But promise me one thing."

"What?" Shikamaru asked.

"Promise me that you'll come back alive." The Inuzuka boy smiled.

Shikamaru smiled back. "I promise."


End file.
